Listerine / Zombie Foot Soak

A couple of weeks ago there was a meme floating around the internet that had a picture of a feet and a recipe for this foot soak using Listerine and white-vinegar. It was the crappiest looking meme too, with terrible resolution and even worse fonts. But I was interested nonetheless. Vinegar is, basically,  a low-grade acid, and since, technically, Listerine is probably dyed anti-freeze, strained through cheese cloth, there might be a good chance that it will eat some of the dead skin off my feet.

Personally, I loathe Listerine. It smells awful and it tastes like it’s death-washing your mouth, and in a weird way, it sort of is. Plus, I am the biggest Listerine pussy in the world, and can’t make it through 60 seconds of “swishing” – it’s the most horrendous thing ever, seriously. To put it in perspective, my dearly departed father, who was a heavy cigarette smoker and drank at least a fifth of bourbon a day was, in fact, a SCOPE man. Just sayin’.

Now my feet are in a constant state of gross because I insist on wearing flip-flops or sandals (or no shoes at all), and of course I never have enough money to go in for a pedicure. Once in a friend’s house I saw a sign that said “Free your foot, bare your sole” which always hit home for me. It is my belief that my feet are nudists, and would rather have nothing on for the rest of their lives (just my feet though).

Anyway, the initial, crappy meme advertised that the skin would just “wipe away”. Mmmmm, nice try but not quite. You DO have to take a pumice stone to your feet afterwards and scrub the dead skin away, but it comes off really easy. All that being said, here is the recipe:

Listerine / Zombie Foot Soak

  • 1/2 Cup of Listerine (in blue or green)
  • 1/2 Cup of White-vinegar
  • 1 Cup of warm water

SPOILER ALERT: This truly vile concoction will NOT smell good. I recommend doing this right before a bath, or shower so you can really get a good rinse and wash.

  • Mix together in a bowl or pan (I actually used a 13 x 9 pan) and soak feet
  • 20-30 minutes for extra-dry skin (like mine)
  • 10-20 minutes for milder cases
  • Follow-up with a pumice stone and water

After you’ve soaked you’ll notice that all of the dry skin on your feet has sucked the blue dye from the Listerine, leaving your feet a lovely shade of dead. It’s a little off-putting at first, your feet actually look like they belong to a corpse so it’s sort of creepy. Don’t panic (like I did), this rinses away easily, and what’s even better, is you have a color-guide of where you need to use your pumice. Admittedly, you do need to spend a few minutes with the pumice getting the skin off, but in the end, you will be left with lovely looking, very pink, and very soft feet.

Hope this helps you guys out, it’s definitely helped me and I’ve used it more than a couple of times now!

Happy Caffeine Thursday everyone!




Listerine / Zombie Foot Soak

Ain’t Nuthin’ Goin’ on But the Rent

Part of the reason I am starting this blog is because I am a make-up and product whore. I’m in love with lipsticks, eyeshadows, creams, perfumes (especially CHANEL and D&G), liquid eyeliner, foundation, glitter, fake lashes, brushes… the works. I love it all  SO MUCH. One of my most favorite things, is to wake up in the morning, put my entire face on, and crack open a brand new lipstick. There’s something about the feel of that flat, pristine tip, where the manufacturer has cut it. It will never be as accurate going on as it is that first time. It just slides across your lips perfectly, painting them a shimmery color of your choice. An absolutely magical feeling.

Unfortunately, between rent, monthly bills, groceries and gas – I am broke most of the time. I mean, I’m not going to pay for cable, but you can be damn sure that I will be buying a new bottle of D&G when the one I have runs out. My point is, I really have to pick and choose what luxury items I buy. Admittedly, I would drop at least $300 a month at Sephora if I could, but I can’t. And technically I could put everything on a credit card, sure, but the last thing my broke ass needs is another bill coming in the mail every month.

Just sayin’.

In the meantime, there are many other things to consider for our day-to-day lives. Moisturizers, face wash, exfoliants, shampoos, conditioners, deodorant, foot scrub (and lotion), nail-polish, hair products, soaps, razors, shaving creams, waxing – and that’s not even including clothes, or getting our hair, or nails done. And I’m sorry, but none of the media available to us ever offers us frugal solutions to these things. I can honestly say that I have never found a beauty tip in Cosmo or Vogue that was under $20-30. Sure ELLE, I would love to try that brand new coconut-mint-lavender hemp conditioner, but I have super-long, thick hair, so $27 for an 8.5-ounce bottle is just not going to happen.

We’re even forced to see this shit on TV. As much as I loved Sex and the City, I could never get over Carrie’s financial situation. A writer in New York with an gigantic apartment, and oh, what’s that Carrie? You can’t afford that down payment on your home? Bitch, you were in vintage Dior for the last three episodes. It’s not just that the average woman’s life isn’t realistically portrayed on the television, but also from a marketing standpoint, there is nothing offered to us, because it’s not making anybody any money.

So I decided to start this blog to offer some very affordable beauty solutions for little to no money. Ideally, with things that you might already have around your house. Hopefully this helps some of you out, and if you have any tips of your own please feel free to send my way. My goal is to investigate, try these methods out and report back to all of you.